Does the biggest donor get to own your non-profit?

We just had a little debate on our school's parents club board. And I'll bet it's not unique among big and small non-profits.

Source: Michelle's Party Plan-It: Steampunk Party

A board member (who could have been me...) brought an idea to do a Steampunk theme at our big annual event.

I'm a geek, I'll admit it, and I love a chance for a creative outlet. The design and decor potential was marvelous.  The Steampunk zeitgeist ties in nicely with STEM science and engineering, all opportunities we're frantic to create for our kids at the school. The best part was that the planning committee got really excited about it. Don't you love it when a good idea comes together?

A large donor got wind of the Steampunk theme and thought it was "weird."

I said, "Yes, I know, that's part of the appeal."

"Are you sure that's how you want to present your school?" the donor said.

I thought, "Hmmm, should our school appear innovative, inventive, curious, fun, creative and science-y? Yes. Yes, we should." I failed to see their issue.

They sucked on their lemons some more and persisted, "But I don't think people will like it."

Oh good! Another teaching opportunity! "Yes, some people not liking things is a painfully important fact of life. Yes, we might do things that we enjoy that others might not. Don't you think it's a great example for our kids to see us holding to our convictions and being ourselves?"

Our executive committee ultimately opted for a more sedate theme. They didn't want to make potential donors unhappy with us, and not come to the event.

The downside to conservative decision-making is that those of us who were excited about the fun new idea and have them changed by outsiders, even big outsiders, felt dis-incentivized or not valued. If a non-profit doesn't have energized volunteers, then they don't have a lot of hands to do the work of the organization. (Update: 5 of 6 members of that planning committee resigned at the end of that term. It might not have been causal, but not feeling valued was certainly a factor.)

The board had the kind of debate that we all have as we grow and define who we are personally and professionally. Organizations are not immune from soul searching, either. Your non-profit has a responsibility to create as many opportunities as possible to do the good work you've promised to do in your charter. That typically means raising money and keeping good relations with your biggest donors.

The answer to handling over-powering donors is not the same for everyone. But the key is to not implode or let your donors take over your organization is straight-forward. Communication is the key:

1. Communicate to your donors and community often what you value and what you're trying to accomplish. If we'd taken the time to explain to these donors that the theme actually had a purpose and embodied some of the most valuable ideas we can offer our students (innovation and curiosity) and that we want all of our school to be a welcoming place embracing everyone's strengths and weirdnesses, we might have been able to keep our own counsel.
2. Communicate that there many ways to support the organization. This is a reminder that we need to communicate both inside and outside the organization. 
• Having engaged volunteers and team members means that more people will have an understanding of all the ways your organization benefits from support. If a single donor is imposing their will too much, a volunteer is empowered now to suggest that the donor has many opportunities to help, not just this one that they are obsessing on. 
• Knowledgeable team members can also see the forest for the trees: they know that if a donor doesn't get their way, there will be other donors. Or they can talk about values. Or they can work with the donor to recruit them onto committees to more effectively channel their point of view.
  
  
3. Communicate appreciation. The donor in our case might have felt that quashing our idea was the best way to get heard and get attention. Maybe not. But if we had been shouting out on Facebook to thank specific acts of specific donors or sending cards and letters regularly instead of calling them only when we need to sell some more tickets, or showing our appreciation in many ways on many days, we wouldn't have the self-doubt now. 
• Tell the donors big and small that you love them. 
• Tell them how their money is being spent. The only thing I love more than my donors is transparency. This doesn't have to wait for the Annual Report. Make a Facebook post, send an email, pick up the phone or invite them to even small activities.
• Show them pictures like you might to your kids' proud grandmothers. 
• Invite them to meetings.
• Use your Facebook page to call out and rave over specific acts of kindness. Use their name, include photos, heap on the praise.
• Surprise them with lunch at their office.
• Have a party just for them and don't ask them for anything but an RSVP.
• Include them on your various mailing lists. 
• Set up recurring "Coffee with the President" get-togethers so they can hear in a more casual setting what's going on and ask questions.
• Invite them to participate on committees to share their ideas and act on their passions for your cause. 
• Send out surveys asking for ideas, what can be done better, get reviews from each and every event and compare your performance. Are you gaining or losing ground with your key donors, volunteers and constituents?
• See above for your volunteers, too. Everyone needs to feel the love.
4. Communicate with clarity. It is possible the big donor in our example was merely sharing their opinion and we over-reacted and took it as direction. Ask questions when you get feedback to better understand if that is just a suggestion or it's meant as a directive.
   
   Sometimes we are afraid to ask because we are fearful that we might get an answer we don't like. Imagine the worst: "If you do that then I will not attend or donate ever again and I will smear you name in the community." When you say it like *that*, it turns out our worst fears are almost never the reality. Go ahead and ask. You already know they like you because they are willing to donate and share their opinions.

And sometimes you don't win when you present an idea. It's ok. There are lots of ideas out there. Sometimes the donor has the benefit of a perspective you don't, so start a dialog and seek to understand.